Wild Yogini on the Loose


Wild Dream – Leap

I was somewhere and there was a car accident.   There were three people with me – three souls.   I helped them so they were not injured from the accident.   I saw a fourth person and tried to reach her, a small child, but a man stopped me.

Next I was with three people, a couple and a man I was supposed to be with.   The man I was supposed to be with controlled everything – telling me what to do, where to go, when to sit.   I followed his direction to observe the situation, to see where we four were going, what was going on here.

We four were going to a concert that I was not prepared for.   No one asked if I wanted to go, nor was I dressed properly, and I was offered no food or drink.   I was simply there to please the man, so that he could be part of a couple, like the couple he was with.

The man and I were sitting at a table.   He opened a coconut and ate it, never once asking if I wanted any.   When he had his share, he threw it away, even though there was still coconut inside, and water to be drank.   I asked him, “Why did you not ask if I wanted any of the coconut?”   He replied, “Because Im in charge here.   Your opinion doesnt matter.”

So I rose up and said, “Im leaving.”   He laughed and said, “Where will you go.”   I simply turned a walked away.

I walked across a great field, then came to a country road.   This dirt road led to a town where all the signs were in a language I did not understand.   I thought, “I will have to go back, to find out where I am.”   But as quickly, I thought, “No, I do not.  I am here.  That is where I am.”   So I continued to walk.

I came across a wild landscape of deep earthen ravines, with massive boulders.   It looked like an ancient river bed.   I jumped down into it and literally leaped – gracefully, with strength and effortless flight – from one rock, to tree, to ground bed after another.   The feeling was one of freedom, of being unhindered, of moving from one obstacle to another without seeing it as an obstacle, but a springboard for the next leap.

It was an exhilarating feeling that I enjoyed.   Then I woke up.

International Woman’s Day

WILD Women of the World .. Honor Your Self  !  Its International Woman’s Day  !

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

-Eleanor Roosevelt



“Please know that I am aware of the hazards. I want to do it because I want to do it.

Women must try to do things as men have tried.

When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.”

-Amelia Earhart



“The penalty of success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.”

-Lady Astor



“Success is often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.”

-Coco Chanel



“Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.”

-Doris Lessing



“The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes

Strangers of people who should be friends.”

-Shirley MacLaine



Wild Calling

The more I immerse myself in Yoga, the more Yoga fills my life to overflowing.

And it is an immersion .. a diving into Ganga .. being caught in the current that is Brahmanda.   Sinking down and looking up.   Wholly engaged and steeped in the steepness.   Fully absorbed so that every particle of being is flowing involvement, is engrossed purification, is engulfed in the saturation of the ineffable.

But .. Ive wandered .. like the gentle stream across stone.

A few years back I wrote about the Six-Mile Radius and the importance of it in our daily life and sustainability.   I then heard this was called ‘bio-regionalism‘.   Then, I came upon the idea of having only 108 objects .. just 108 personal possessions.   I then found out about the 100 Things Challenge.

Its all in the Great Void .. so many floating ideas, ready to be plucked and participated in.

Unknown to us all where the road will turn.   Unknown to me that the course of a Six-Mile Radius would lead to downsizing, would lead to minimizing, would lead to considering being a full-time wandering Sadhu.   To being off-grid once again.

So here I am .. spring cleaning an entire life.   Again.   This being my third such purging .. purification.

What to keep and what to throw away is an amazing exploration into self.   Into who I am, into why I hold onto certain things (physical and mental), into the value of value .. of sentimentality .. of sadhaka (‘intelligence, knowledge, memory, enthusiasm, consciousness).

Thought fly far away, but woe to loose memory.

For me, memory is the true value of a thing, an object, a bauble that can be held in the hand.   What memory does this thing contain?   How important is that memory?   Where did that memory come from?   I mean, that memory has been there all along .. yet, it has not risen to the surface of conscious thought until just now .. this very moment .. holding this object.

Is that then the value of an object?   The many treasures that we surround ourselves with?    That it calls back memory from afar?

It would seem so.   Cleaning out a closet or a drawer reveals a memory .. complete with emotion.    Some objects bring tears, some joy, some neutrality, some indifference, some a question ..

A question.   So many different questions, so many layers being pulled back and revealed, so many conveniently set aside matters – conversations and deeds – neatly laid to rest, only to rise up and stir the depths of chitta’s well .. the well of memory.

Are the waters muddy?   Or are they clear?   From where I stand now .. how do I perceive myself then?   From where I sit – comfortably holding an object not held in some years – do I judge or condemn, do I muse on the value of countless interactions .. the why’s and wherefore’s, and wonder:  ‘What now?    What samskara (impression) remains?’

Every remembered thing is held high in the mind’s memory.   Within the depths of every remembered thing resides – for all time – every moment, whether recalled or not, whether neatly forgotten or not, whether chokingly painful or not, whether joyously embraced or not .. IT is still there.

Not in the past, in some forgotten realm, brushed aside like a page in a history book, but still there.   Sharp as any sword it is .. ready to re-heave you anew or cut through the dross that has been holding you back.

All will be revealed ..

This is why Mahakali has three gunas, for one cannot separate the past from the self, no more than one can cancel the future.   Nonetheless .. its still dead weight, unless its picked up and re-evaluated.   Its value determined, its weight on current affairs measured.   Only then can it either be tossed aside as having no more impact, or carefully set aside to be brought out again at some unknown time in the future.

So I sit with a box on one side, a garbage bag on the other, and a pile of memory before me.   More goes into the garbage .. for it is but an object. Its real worth resides within.

Namaste .. Metta .. and all that!

Wild Woman. Mystic. Yogini. Shamanika. Tantrika. Seidwoman. Adventurer. Hunter. Indomitable Force. Wolf Woman. Shivani.

Yogini Valarie Devi has traveled to the world, exploring Self and its many wondrous wrappings. From Mystic Christianity and Tantrik Hindusim, to Jewish Mysticism and Vajra Buddhism, to Siberian and Saami Shamanism – all while sitting at the knee of mad monks, sacred swami’s, wild yogis, sensual shamans and the many spiritually inspired beings she met along the way.